Words: 375. Reading time: 1 minute 15 seconds.Feeling positive, when others feel anything but, often invokes a degree of fear or guilt in the positive individual. This can stem from a number of sources:
~ We assume it is wrong to be positive when so many others are not;
~ We take responsibility inappropriately for the feelings of others;
~ We feel others will reject us because we are now different to them.
Well, each of us has our own version of the world and we have no right to steal another’s responsibility for their own thoughts and feelings.
Despite appearances to the contrary a can-do / positive attitude is a natural state for all of us. Psychologists confirm that we are born with only two basic startle reflexes – sudden loud noises and falling. Other fears and phobias may develop along the way, but children have one innate quality that drives most limitations away – curiosity.
It’s only “adults” that have trained us to curb our natural curiosity for fear of nameless consequences. More often that not these consequences are by no means certain; they are not even likely; but they may hover on the edge of vague possibility. Yet we allow such uninformed trepidation to limit our journeys, halt our exploratory missions and curtail any investigations.
A young child would have no such qualms – as most parents will testify!
When we set out we were positive people – and I hope we still are.
a) How many of us gave up trying to walk before we were 3 years old?
b) How many of us believed that we could not learn a foreign language – which our native tongue was at the time, as were all languages?
c) Who remembers as a kid saying “let me, let me, let me”? I know I did.
That’s who we really are – so stop acting your age – this is our chance to be more childlike and authentic.
Let’s turn up our curiosity!
Negativity is when we only think we know; it doesn’t mix well with curiosity.
As Mary Kay Ash said: “There are three types of people in this world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened.”
The question is: in which group are you going to be?
2 comments:
A great blog Paul, that makes a really important point. We can choose to manage our state of mind, and that will affect the results we get. The other linked issue is one that often comes across:
"how are you?", then people respond "not too bad?".
To the subconscious people are saying to themselves (and others) "I'm bad"; so choose to be GOOD or bad, don’t pretend to be in between.
Thanks Jon
Ah, the old inverse negative; so often a refuge of the self-deprecating.
When people respond "not bad" it's one thing. When they respond "not too bad" it is likely to have double the effect because TOO sounds very much like TWO.
Folk also like to label the weather as 'dreadful' or 'aweful' even though the weather is just the weather. How good or bad it might be is purely how the individual chooses to see it.
One thing I am working to change in myself is saying "I'm knackered" (or similar). Much more helpful is "Right now I need some extra energy".
That's the sort of liguistic programming that works with you, rather than against you.
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