Words: 467. Reading time: 1 min 34 secs.
The story is a familiar one. Some lost and weary traveller asks a friendly yokel the way to some distant location and is advised that it would be better if he did not start from here.
As we weigh up what resolutions we could make for 2009 I would offer the same wise counsel as that helpful country bumpkin – don’t start from here.
Typically, when we imagine doing something different, we start with some preconditions. We say, “When I have the resources, then I could do X and be Y”. For example, we say “If I had a diet that worked, then I could slim down and be a size 10”, or “If I had the time, then I could start writing and be a poet.”
These preconditions not only provide us with a handy excuse if we fail, they also start us off in exactly the wrong place – where we are now.
By following the ‘have – do – be’ route they focus on what we lack; the hard bit.
Only when that’s in place is there implied permission to look at behaviour [do].
Only when behaviour has changed can we tackle beliefs [be].
While this approach can and does work for some people, it is the more difficult approach to change. It looks to sheer willpower to put the first two elements in place before tackling the major roadblock to such actions – our beliefs.
Willpower has its uses, but it is a product of the conscious mind. It calls for considerable effort and is essentially a short-lived, power surge. If the conscious mind does not find resonance in the subconscious mind, then it’s no contest. The subconscious prevails every time.
Therefore, to put long-term changes in place, be they minor or major, we would be better advised to start with our beliefs about what we are being. If your desire is to be a poet then take on the mantle of a poet, think and act like a poet, live as if you are a poet.
In being a poet you will do those things that poets do.
In being a size 10 you will do those things that size 10 people do.
And in the being and the doing you will create those things you have to have.
The poet will stop watching TV, get up earlier and work throughout the weekends on producing verse.
The size 10 will experiment with the food and exercise combinations needed to fit into that dress size.
Use the power surge of your willpower to modify the environment in which your changed persona will operate – the food in the cupboards, the social calendar for the size 10, the alarm clock and the study layout for the poet.
From there the change, driven from the inside, will naturally feel at home.
As we weigh up what resolutions we could make for 2009 I would offer the same wise counsel as that helpful country bumpkin – don’t start from here.
Typically, when we imagine doing something different, we start with some preconditions. We say, “When I have the resources, then I could do X and be Y”. For example, we say “If I had a diet that worked, then I could slim down and be a size 10”, or “If I had the time, then I could start writing and be a poet.”
These preconditions not only provide us with a handy excuse if we fail, they also start us off in exactly the wrong place – where we are now.
By following the ‘have – do – be’ route they focus on what we lack; the hard bit.
Only when that’s in place is there implied permission to look at behaviour [do].
Only when behaviour has changed can we tackle beliefs [be].
While this approach can and does work for some people, it is the more difficult approach to change. It looks to sheer willpower to put the first two elements in place before tackling the major roadblock to such actions – our beliefs.
Willpower has its uses, but it is a product of the conscious mind. It calls for considerable effort and is essentially a short-lived, power surge. If the conscious mind does not find resonance in the subconscious mind, then it’s no contest. The subconscious prevails every time.
Therefore, to put long-term changes in place, be they minor or major, we would be better advised to start with our beliefs about what we are being. If your desire is to be a poet then take on the mantle of a poet, think and act like a poet, live as if you are a poet.
In being a poet you will do those things that poets do.
In being a size 10 you will do those things that size 10 people do.
And in the being and the doing you will create those things you have to have.
The poet will stop watching TV, get up earlier and work throughout the weekends on producing verse.
The size 10 will experiment with the food and exercise combinations needed to fit into that dress size.
Use the power surge of your willpower to modify the environment in which your changed persona will operate – the food in the cupboards, the social calendar for the size 10, the alarm clock and the study layout for the poet.
From there the change, driven from the inside, will naturally feel at home.
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