All Change

You may have come across the phrase “if you always do what you have always done, you’ll always get what you have always got.” Notable speakers who have used it in the past include Penny Phang, Anthony Robbins, Jim Rohn, Chris Widener and Zig Ziglar.

I have even used it myself.

Newsflash from my banking clients: that’s (another) coaching myth.

In the past this little mantra has been used to challenge those clients who were stuck in a rut of working hard in a particular way with little success, but unable to come up with another approach.

In those circumstances pointing out the illogicality of continuing in a fruitless pursuit made sense.

But what of those whose strategy has a history of success, but who face more recent set-backs? Wouldn’t they want to keep doing what they have been doing in order to duplicate previous favourable results?

Certainly they will. However, circumstances have changed. Now they need to change too, in order to match the changed situation.

Once the environment shifts, then so must the approach you use. Doing what you once did will not give the previous outcome.

That much is obvious, so what’s the problem?

Every moment of every day every one of us has to make three choices, whether we are aware of it, or not:

1. We have to choose where to direct our attention;
2. We have to choose how to interpret the event or object that has our attention, and
3. We have to choose what action to take as a result of choices 1 and 2.

The peculiar thing is that many people (not you, of course) do not consciously make those choices, because they do not even realise there is a choice to be made.

The consequence is that such people, instead of consciously selecting an action, merely react instead.

They take no responsibility for what goes on in their heads and the subsequent outcomes. “Other people” are being difficult and “the world” is against them. Their behaviour is entirely derived from habit, conditioning and untested suppositions.

Increasingly, as the world moves on, those habits, that conditioning and their suppositions are no longer appropriate. It follows that the results such people achieve become less and less satisfactory.

The results we get depend on the choices we make we make, either consciously from applied thought, or unthinkingly from the subconscious.

It pays to remain aware of our choices; it maximises our chances of selecting an appropriate action that matches the present circumstances.

At the height of the banking boom a highly successful broker drove his brand new, top the range Ferrari down Wall Street and pulled into the kerb to show it off to his friends. As he opened the door to get out the door was suddenly and completely ripped off by a passing truck.

The broker was outraged. He cursed the trucker. He screamed about the cost of the car. He yelled that the body repairers would never get it to look as good as it did new. He wailed about all the expensive extras that he had had fitted.

A New York cop pulled in behind the Ferrari with his strobe lights flashing. He told the broker to calm down. The car was no more than an expensive toy. And did the broker even realise that the truck had torn off half his arm when it passed? At that moment he was bleeding profusely over the sidewalk.

“My God!” the broker shrieked, “My Rolex!”

Make Room for Change

Change is both needed and constant. Our bodies undergo change as cells are renewed. The composition of society changes as births and deaths occur. The weather changes and so do the seasons. People, businesses and economies change.

Change permeates the entire universe in one form or another.

If you are going to change something, do something new, it will have to displace something old. Any new initiative, habit or practice, any new article, structure or possession will displace some custom or thing that went before.

It is impossible for it to be “as well as”. Nature abhors vacuum.

If you are about to adopt a new behaviour it may replace a rest period, or mere idleness rather than a present activity or routine.

If you are about to acquire either an object or a building it may occupy a previously uncluttered space or an unused field rather than be a substitute for a current possession or an existing edifice.

Either way, something has to go. You have no empty corners, although there may be some non-productive ones.

This means you have to make room for change. That’s true whether the change is one you make on your own initiative, or one that stems from actions by some third party.

However, even when the trigger event is not of your making, the decision to make the resulting change is still yours. None of us can escape that responsibility, even though we may wish so at times.

Whatever the circumstances and whatever our wishes other people may not welcome the change. As Joni Mitchell wrote in her song Both Sides Now: “now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say I’ve changed”.

Also, it may not be possible, or advisable, to put boundaries around change. Change in area 1 may knock on to area 2. Sometimes this gets labelled as ‘unintended consequences’ or, more prosaically, as ‘collateral damage.’

Just as the responsibility for making the change is ours, so how others view the change is theirs. We cannot make that choice for them, nor accept either praise or blame for their feelings. For some people change is always a pig with a straw in his mouth.

It is a fact that we cannot ‘make’ people happy or sad, angry or unruffled. Each of us is accountable for how we decide to represent particular events to ourselves. “It is neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so.” ~ Shakespeare.

And as Joni Mitchell also recognises in her song it’s not necessarily all bad: “something’s lost, but something’s gained in living every day”.

On occasion resistance to change may be the right thing to do. Only you can judge, but if you call it wrong it may mean you get run over in the headlong flight to the future.

If you see the change in question as beneficial, or inevitable, then welcome it rather than joining the carpers and cavillers. Don’t live a midget existence. Helping to steer an otherwise wayward vessel may mean the eventual landfall will be a harbour more to your liking.